Juneathon Day 14 – 20

Well, I completely blew that.  Spent a week up with my Dad and looked at buying my Grandparents old home.  That was all good but did not have internet and could not post.  I did things every day including biking, walking, weeding, planting, filling all the bird feeders, cleaning up and cleaning out.  I was Dad’s daughter and son for a week.  We went to the dump and cleaned up the yard.  It was a great time and I did buy my Papa’s house.

I blew it for the Juneathon, though.  No biggy, there’s always next year.

Oh yeah, there was no swimming as Lake Michigan is so flipping cold.  I would’ve been cold in a wet suit even if I had one.

I Will Survive!

I looked forward to going home every summer.  This year we were doing something different.  This year we would be more active while still having fun, a little quirky, to include all ages.  I couldn’t wait to get on that plane and back to Wisconsin.

The ex was from So Cal and after getting out of the Army in 1978, he decided it was where we would live.  We were there long enough to have a baby, get jobs, move to 3 different homes, spend most of our money and move in with Ex’s divorced father and 3 siblings.  All that in 2 years, until we moved to Wisconsin, my home state.

We settled in a wonderful medium sized town, got good jobs and later put our son into a great public school.  We had it made, on the outside, anyway.  Ex started his construction company.  Good money and a lot of stress.  We built a home in an upscale neighborhood.  One of the jobs he took was remodeling a restaurant and lodge. It was a big project and took many months.  He did this on a handshake.  After it was finished, they didn’t have the money to pay it all.  Bankruptcy, moving out of our custom home, and then too much drinking.

Time to move back to California.  That was at the end of 1989.  Ex went back first and found a house and a job.  Our son and I came out shortly after that.  I had to leave a job I loved for 8 years and my family.

Oops, back to the story and fast forward to 2001.  I go back to Wisconsin for a week every summer.  I go by myself.  Ex is never happy about me going and won’t come with me.  After a few years, I don’t care, I just need to go.

I always end up at my parent’s home on the Island and my 7 siblings come, at least for the weekend.  We had done Christmas in July the years prior.  This year (2001), my brother-in-law suggested we do a family “Survivor”.  There were plenty of emails and phone calls to plan the weekend.  We figured we had between 20 and 30 people with sibs, in-laws, nieces, nephews, my grandma, my parents and a couple friends.  The teams ended up with 12 people each, ages 7 to 81.  We had spouses on opposing teams.  Each team had four siblings, mine with 2 sisters, a brother, Dad and assorted others.  The other had 2 brothers, 2 sisters, Mom, Nanny plus 6 more.

Events included food challenges, basketball shooting, how far can you jump, hit a golf ball and sunflower seed spitting.  We picked teams on Friday night and saw the area my bro-in-law chose for the tribal counsel. Games to begin on Sat morn…

Tribal Counsel

Writing 101 Day 4

Mojito’s

 

I heard them coming.  It would be a while before they got too close.

“Come on, woman!  What’s taking you so long?”

She looked down at me, “Don’t talk”.

Sometimes, I forget that rule.  Swearing is okay, saying her name is okay and I had done both in the last hour.  But no conversation is allowed.

Earlier in the day, we walked a mile from the house thinking it would be safe.  We spread out the blanket, put down the picnic basket, ate the sandwiches and cookies.  Then she pulled out the thermos of mojitos she had mixed up.  They went down so easily and were soon gone.

That’s when it began.  She crawled toward me, stopped, sat back and pulled off her t-shirt.  I laid back and waited.  The combination of my woman, mojitos and sunshine was exciting.  She got on top of me.  My God, she was glorious to watch as she moved to a rhythm only she knew.  The pendant she wore, swayed back and forth.

All of a sudden I realized, a mile isn’t far enough.  Our grandson came running over the hill followed by the sheep.  He yelled, “Nana, Papa, can I have a cookie?”

Thank you Jeremy for another great weekend challenge. This one was fun! 

I used the above picture and the words below.

Word bank:

  • mohito
  • pendant
  • safe
  • mile

Hello!! You’re Married…

People may think that because I am divorced, I have no right to give marriage advice to anyone.  I disagree.  I was married for 34 years before I decided to leave for the last time.  We are both good people.  I was a good wife.  He was not a good husband.  He now agrees with both of those statements.

I was brought up by parents who loved each other and never fought.  I never saw them argue even though I know Mom didn’t always agree with everything Dad did.  I joked with them that not showing their children how to openly disagree was bad when one of us married an arguer.  We laughed about it but I honestly believe that my mother’s compliance was carried on by her daughter.

My ex came from somewhat abusive, and eventually divorced parents.  He had plenty of aggression shown to him as he grew up.  As a parent, I feel sad for him as the child growing up in that situation.  I also have moments I could sit down and cry because of the crap my son had to live with.

I will not go in to the details of why we didn’t make it, but will share some thoughts.

The fact that two completely different human beings, a man and a woman, are about to live together forever, is an interesting yet scary thing.  Think about it, try to prepare.  It is not a fairy tale, it is real life with real life stuff.  There’s bills and babies, illnesses and in-laws, old flames and old age.

If everything was sunshine and lollipops when you were dating/engaged and all of a sudden that person turns in to a monster/bitch when married, not good.  But, if he spoiled you with flowers and now that you are married he can’t afford it, suck it up, be a grown up.  If she wore her makeup every time she was around you and all of a sudden she doesn’t, get over it, she’s a real person not a movie star.  If he is from a family of a few boys and leaves the toilet seat up, Ladies, put it down.  If her “stuff” is all over the bathroom counter, Guys, get used to it.

Most men are not big talkers (except my brother Pat), so ladies, don’t assume that when they are quiet, something is wrong.  Don’t ask with that whiney voice, “what’s going on”.  More than likely they are just in their head.  And guys, women talk, at least look her way once in a while and grunt. Try listening, it may not be as uncomfortable as you think and you might learn something.

Many women I know, think that their men should be able to read their minds and figure out that they need a hug or help with something.  If they don’t get what they want, they can be moody, pissy or bitchy.  This can also be men, and who likes to see a moody, pissy, bitchy guy?  If you need something, ask for it!!  Give them a hug, stop waiting!

Understand that the things you get upset at your spouse for, could be your insecurities and nothing he/she did.  If they are having a conversation with the opposite sex and you get jealous, is it because of something they are doing wrong?  Or, is it an insecurity you have about them leaving or a wound from the past?  If it’s your stuff, talk about it. Don’t blame him/her.

Communication, honesty and truth are things I did not have in my marriage.  I have them now.  It is so refreshing to be able to say to someone, I am sad, I am mad, I am jealous and be able to have an open and loving conversation regarding those feelings.  We discuss everything that is brought up.  I am with a man that I feel safe with and have enough trust in to discuss anything.

Possibly I could have had this with my ex but he was not willing to compromise. Compromise is a no-brainer and you should realize that going into a marriage.

He was right. I was wrong.

I was weak.  He was strong.

Now it’s over. The marriage gone.

Now I am right.  I am strong.

 

This started as a comment on great snaps, goodreads and me regarding a post from today.  It got a little too wordy so I decided to post it on my blog.

Ring of Fire or My Love of All Things Spicy!!

IMG_1140

I’m not sure when I had my first experience with spicy.  It may have been the weak “taco sauce” Mom used for her Wisconsin tacos.  Or, the fact that my uncle pushed me, or tricked me into trying new foods.  Like the time he gave me a bite of his “sirloin steak”.  We were a family of little money and many children, so sirloin was not on the menu.  I loved the new taste, even when he told me it was actually liver.  With that experience in mind, it may have been Uncle Willy’s trickery that began my journey of fearless food discover, including spicy.

Tabasco is my all-time favorite, with its vinegar taste, a definite plus.  I can’t imagine an egg without it.  It was a requirement when eating in the mess hall.  SOS with tabasco was one of the best parts of being in the Army.

When eating at a Mexican Restaurant, I’ll judge it by the salsa they serve when I first arrive.  It must be tasty, and have a bite.

I keep a huge container of pickled jalapenos in the refrigerator and add them to most things.  There is also a container of horseradish that is used regularly.  I know horseradish is not the same hot as a habanero, but I love its “heat”.

I have even been known to put a touch of cayenne in my brownies.  Just enough to have people wondering if there is something different about them.

I won’t say,” the hotter the better”.  I need to be able to taste it, but I do love spicy

Fifty

DebAlyCL

 

 

BrushHair

This really happened and she never took a breath when she said it.  She touched my hand when she talked about wrinkles and she touched my squishy arms after that.  I looked at her and just rolled on the floor and laughed with her.  I have told this story so many times.  It still cracks me up.

WRITE YOUR FIRST “FIFTY”

No rules. Just stick to the word count — no more, no less than fifty words.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/04/07/writing-challenge-fifty/

 

 

 

56/365 – December 17 2013 – Snow Angels

I was going through the thousands of photos I have on my computer and found my wonderful granddaughters.  This is from Feb 2011, they came up to the house to play in the snow.  We lived in the mountains/high desert in So Cal.

AlyssaSnowCLCcopy

 

For some reason she didn’t realize how much snow would come down on her.

 

SavSnowmanCLC copy

 

This one is just a little smart butt.  She is giving me nah-nah-nah-nah.  She was full of energy for a while.

 

SavChairCLClogo

 

Then crabby baby, nap time happened and we got her a chair to sit in.

 

GirlsSnomanCLClogo

 

It was a fun day of sliding, snowman making, snow angels and hot cocoa before they went back down to their home where it was probably around 50 degrees.

A Photo a Day & 53/365 – November 29 2013 – Many Faces of Sweet

I rarely get out and take photos of people.  So, when there is a family function they know I show up and shoot.  Some like, some don’t.  Dad swore at me(I laughed) and some of the kids ran away.  This sweetie is my sisters Granddaughter and loves my camera.  It was a nice Thanksgiving at my sisters home and great to see a few of my sibs and their families.  Hope all of you had a great day!!