Is This You?

 

My sibs and I in late 70's.

My sibs and I in late 70’s.

Recently I finished reading “The Birth Order” book and found it fascinating.  Do you see yourself here?

Are you:

  • A list maker
  • A problem solver
  • Organized but have a messy desk
  • An advice giver
  • A people person with very few friends
  • Logical
  • A perfectionist
  • Someone who straightens pictures on walls or pillows on couches

If you answered yes to most of these traits, you are probably a first born or only child.  As a firstborn you are scholarly, hard driving, a bit serious and critical and more than likely you don’t like surprises.

Or, are you:

  • Manipulative
  • An attention seeker
  • Class clown or comedian of the family
  • A lover of surprises
  • Affectionate
  • A people person

Yes to these and you take the lastborn or baby position.  You are fun, the life of the party but can also be spoiled, impatient and impetuous.  Often you feel as if you are not taken serious, especially by your family.  Many of you, as Dr. Leman puts it, “have a burning desire to make an important contribution to the world”.

And last but not least, are you:

  •  A mediator
  • Compromising
  • A conflict avoider
  • Loyal to your peers with many friends
  • Secretive
  • Unspoiled

These are the mysterious middle children.  Their personalities are strongly influenced by the sibling directly above them.  They may model them or go in a complete opposite direction.  There have been many articles published and most agree that of all birth order positions, the middle child is the most difficult to define, let alone describe or generalize about.

There are 8 siblings in my family.  I am the oldest and after 50 years I finally understand why I do certain things.  I am also pleased to understand the whys of the rest of my sisters and brothers.  Things just make sense now.  I have no friends, I want no friends and it is okay because I am an oldest.  Now when my brother Pat gets out on the dance floor when the song, “Play that Funky Music White Boy” comes on and dances to it, I understand he is not weird, he is the baby.

This is not an exact science but pretty close.  It doesn’t always go as simply as I stated.  Family situations and circumstances also come in to play.  Oldest child can mean oldest daughter and oldest son.  The gaps in age also make a difference.

After my father died, Mom remarried and they had two girls.  So, actually Pat is not the baby but is the typical baby and the baby of the first six.

I listen and observe at all functions I go to and it is pretty easy to spot an oldest and a baby.  I have fun with it and actually keep a notebook with me to write down what I see and predict the birth order.  People are surprised if they haven’t heard about Dr. Lemans book or the others that are out there.  It is a great discussion to have as they look at their own families.

This is written for Blogging 101, Day 6 – publish a post for your dream reader

I love to read, write, discuss.  This is written for those who also love to read interesting books on fascinating subjects.

Why Can’t We Be Friends

Angel Club 1965

Angel Club 1965

Making Friends

I have no problem making friends.  I am warm, witty and humorous. Most people like me.  If you don’t, something is wrong with you and I will continue to be nice to you and win you over.

My Mom, my Dad and my Stepdad are/were nice friendly people and it rubbed off.  All of my siblings have the same personality.

Sounds like I have a lot of friends, doesn’t it?  Nope!  I don’t have them and I don’t want them.  I had friends in high school, had them growing up in the neighborhood.  There were friends in the Army and all throughout my adult life.  I didn’t have best friends who I told everything to.  I was always more comfortable alone.

A long weekend with the girlfriends, a shopping trip with a bunch of women.  No thanks!

My sister recently told me that she always thought there was something strange about me because of my lack of friends.

I found a clue when I read The Birth Order Book.  I am an oldest.  Typical behavior.  Very interesting stuff.  You should read it.

Daily Prompt: Why can’t we be friends?  http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/04/09/prompt-cant-we-be-friends/

The photo above is of The Angel Club minus our leader, who was older and wiser and made us do whatever she wanted.  These are my childhood friends from the late 50’s, early 60’s and my year younger sister.

 

 

20 Facts About Me. Day 1 of 30 day blog challenge.

So, here are 20 facts about me.

1.  I love the Lord!

2. I’m in love with the best person I’ve ever known.

3. I was in the Army.

4.  I’ve killed a rattlesnake.

5.  I am a cancer survivor. (Melanoma)

6.  I have one child. A 35 yr old man.

7.  I am divorced. ( I was a good wife.)

8.  I lean to the right.

9.  I am the oldest of 8.

10.  I love to read, mostly nonfiction.

11.  I zip-lined in Mexico.

12.  I tandem surfed.  (Waves were small)

13.  I HATE mosquitoes!!

14.  I’ve never smoked cigarettes.

15.  I’ve competed in 2 triathlons and numerous 5K’s, all in my 50’s.

16.  I am a Grandma. (Nanny to the girls)

17.  I make the best chocolate chips cookies that I have ever eaten.

18.  I would rather clean the toilet than go shopping with my girlfriends.

19.  I don’t have any girlfriends.

20.  I love being a woman and all the stuff that goes with it.  Good & bad.

There you go.  I actually started this list last week as I was going to post 58 facts about myself for my 58 yrs.  I may still do that after this.

Next one is to discuss my current relationship.  Not going to be around tomorrow so that may wait until Sunday.

I Am The Oldest!

I am the oldest of 8 and a woman.  Until about 10 years ago, that didn’t mean much.  After reading The Birth Order Book and doing some, sit back and pay attention work, I think it does matter.  I am not as annoyed at “the kids” anymore and don’t try to make them into who I think they should be, at least not as much.  I do find myself trying to fix everyones problems, always have.  I am the one they all call when there is a medical issue, like I am some kind of a doctor.  I am 58 now and with a whole bunch of life experience behind me so I do a lot of self awareness work and also sibling awareness.  I may be the only one of the eight who pays attention to the dynamics of our family. Some might but most don’t care and that’s fine.  It is so interesting at family functions now.  We have 2 babies in the family as my Dad died young and Mom remarried.  They had 2 girls to finish it up.  Everyone is so different even though we were raised by the same people.  I am 15 months older than my sister and we are opposites.  We have always had an “interesting” relationship.  Things are better now that I have become aware.  I try to communicate with her about all this and it’s getting better. Now we are both aware.

My son is an only and that is a whole other blog.  Onlies and oldests are a lot alike.

I can almost tell when someone is an oldest or baby when I have a few conversations with them.  I don’t do it all the time and normally won’t tell them my observation.  Do you observe your family when you all get together?

Picture is from about 1980.  Image