59/365 – December 21 2013 – A Bird Morning

With my eyes barely open, I saw the birds busy outside the kitchen window this morning.

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I’m not sure but I think these are Morgansers.  They dive for food and seem to like it right in front of the dock.

 

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There were a half dozen of these guys flying around.  Noisy, but pretty.

 

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The chickadees are always out there but today had to wait until the Bluejays flew off.

 

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I had to look up his name as all I knew him as was a woodpecker.  He is an adult male Hairy Woodpecker and we have them year round.

 

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And of course in midst of it all, the local pileated showed up.  I couldn’t get a great shot of him so I am adding a shot from a month ago.

 

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Always entertaining to watch him on the feeder.

 

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This is a Northern Cardinal and a big, wonderful surprise.  It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one.  I looked it up and they do not migrate.  Also states that a male will fiercely protect it’s territory and will fight itself if it sees it’s own reflection.  Well, that was my morning!!

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58/365 – December 19 2013 – From Voyeur to Stalker

My decision to walk this morning really paid off.  I was walking over the dam when a movement caught my eye on the lake side.  It didn’t see me for a couple minutes so I was able to just shoot away.

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He/she had a great time just rolling around in the snow or on the ice.

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I knew it eventually had to end.  He/she saw me and dove under so I continued my walk over the dam but when I glanced back, there it was.  I turned around and said, “hey big guy”.  It looked at me, barked and slid back down.  We played that for awhile and then I finally left.

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Great day for an early walk as he was gone when we took our p.m. walk.

57/365 – December 18 2013 – Another Icy Autumn Day

We took a brisk walk on a cold day to find more beautiful ice on the river.

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At the bottom of the dam it wasn’t quite frozen over.

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You can see the succession of the ice as it forms from the bank out in to the river.

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And of course there is the dam.

 

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Another walk on a great Wisconsin autumn day.

56/365 – December 17 2013 – Snow Angels

I was going through the thousands of photos I have on my computer and found my wonderful granddaughters.  This is from Feb 2011, they came up to the house to play in the snow.  We lived in the mountains/high desert in So Cal.

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For some reason she didn’t realize how much snow would come down on her.

 

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This one is just a little smart butt.  She is giving me nah-nah-nah-nah.  She was full of energy for a while.

 

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Then crabby baby, nap time happened and we got her a chair to sit in.

 

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It was a fun day of sliding, snowman making, snow angels and hot cocoa before they went back down to their home where it was probably around 50 degrees.

Still In a Funk

 

Still in a Funk

I finished a book a couple days ago and have been in a funk since then.  The book is “All the Dancing Birds”.  It is fiction and the story is about a woman with Alzheimer’s, written from her perspective.  It goes from the beginning of her diagnosis to the end of her life.  I liked the book but every night when I stopped reading, I felt sad, lonely, depressed and scared.  I put myself in her place or thought about My Michaels mother, who just passed away in August.  I watched my Papa die in the 1980’s with this disease.  When I came in to Michael’s life, they had just put his Mom in a nursing home.  That was August of 2011.  I had firsthand experience with her dementia and how it affected the family.  This book was probably more powerful for that reason.  With all that said, my funk isn’t even about Alzheimer’s.  When I get depressed, which isn’t often anymore, all my insecurities come rushing forward.  Some of them I won’t discuss with anyone but my man and I only journaled about them.  Others are okay to list.  I get those stupid, insecure, I’m not good enough/smart enough/young enough/thin enough thoughts.  Really hate those as they bring in other crap.  Then there is the, I don’t have enough money in the bank and should go get a job.  With that comes, I am too old to get a job (except Walmart) and I don’t want a job.  I take on my son’s problems, my ex’s health issues, siblings problems.  I wonder if I was supposed to stay in my marriage and accept the fear, loneliness, pain and stress. Sometimes I just want to talk and I don’t want girlfriends and all that goes with it.   I have sisters to discuss things with but they have busy lives and don’t need to deal with my funk.   So, my journal got most of my feelings this time, you got a very short edition of it and My Michael and I will talk tonight over some wine, a fire and Kleenex.  I am planning on being “all good” tomorrow.  Why did I put this out there?  I think all the stresses I have had in my life, have mostly been kept inside.  I am sure it contributed to my melanoma in ’05 and I am working on letting go.  You get to be my shrink.

A Photo a Day & 54/365 – November 30 2013 – Saturday Walk

We both took cameras on todays walk.  The plan was to go to the dam and then on to the falls.  At the dam we saw a bird in the water and it didn’t take off when we came close.  We didn’t see any wounds and it didn’t seem sick but didn’t fly away.  When we got home I googled it and now assume it is a common loon.  I read a lot of interesting facts about them and hope the bird was healthy enough to leave

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We then went down to the bottom of the dam and got some more shots.

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It’s been cold this past week and there has been a lot of ice forming.

 

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Are you looking at me?

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On the way to the falls we saw these guys out ice fishing.  You wouldn’t catch me out there yet, ice is not think enough.  Crazy!!

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Then we walked home and watched the Badgers get beat by Penn State.  It was still a good day.  Can’t wait for tomorrow!